As every french man, I have a reputation to keep up. I am supposed to be a good cook, or at least a good food connoisseur (It's true, at my age It would be harder to defend any longer my reputation of being a good lover. But I won't go on this field if I were you).

France is one of the best country for food, maybe the only one. I mean : can't you really eat those fat and greasy porc pieces cooked out of fritter that they serve you in chinese restaurants ? Me neither. Yes, it could be funny and exotic some time. But be serious it's no food. There is no competition.

I did not travel much in my life and each time I did, I had been very disappointed with the food. That's why I didn't pursue my investigation much longer. Ok, Italy could be acceptable, but they only have pasta there !!!

How can people cook so bad all over the world ? When you visit a place as a tourist, you always want to taste local food. The best one if possible. So why do they keep serving you things so filthy that you immediatly check you still have your return ticket in your pocket ? I wonder if it's a way to prevent people intruding their countries.

But its the same disgusting food in restaurants for autochtons. I can't imagine they just force themselves to eat so bad all along the year just to avoid a few tourists to pollute their beaches and destroy their landscape. It would be to hard a punishement for something their own industry will do anyway.

Well it does not matter. I won't leave my country anymore now. But I can help you wherever you may be to drastically improve your lunches by giving you some nice recipes that would make your working days much more enjoyable. You could cook them at home and bring them for lunch.

Quit sandwhiches and burgers, forget about pizzas and donuts and let's penetrate into the territory of taste and flavour.

So here is my first recipe. . It's called "Daube Provençale"

Ingredients for 8 people (you won't let your colleagues die without tasting it, will you ?) - 2 kilos of beef cut into big pieces - 200 g bacon cut into strips - 3 glove of garlic - 2 tablespoons olive oil - 1 big onion sliced - 1 carot cut into thick rounds - a couple of parsley leaves - 1 orange skin strip - 1 thyme sprig - 2 bay leaves - salt & pepper - 200 g black olives - cloves - one bottle of your best "Côtes du Rhône" - maybe some other stuffs but nevermind

1. Cut everything that has to be cut.

2. Go to the bathroom to take a plaster for you finger.

3. Taste the wine. Is it good enough to go into your "daube" ?

4. Taste it again. Are you sure ? If not, please be nice to take a better one.

5. Take a salad bowl to make a marinade. Put onion, garlic, parsley, orange skin strip, thyme, bay leaves, salt&pepper, cloves and stir well. Add the beef.

6. You can verify the wine is still good.

7. Pour the wine. Mix and let it rest in the fridge at least 12 hours.

8. Wait. Open another bottle of wine to make time pass.

9. Finish it. Now you should be sure the wine fits. If it doesn't start everything from the beginning.

10. Fetch your marinade out of the fridge. Remove the beef from the marinade to paper towels. Strain the marinade, reserving the herbs and the liquid. Open another bottle of wine to celebrate you didn't mess everything up on the table.

11. In a pan, brown the pork and the beef in the heated oil. Keep drinking until every slides are colored.

12. Remove the meat. Put it in a big cooker. Go to the bathroom again to find your cream against burns. Note for next time to use some ustensil to take the meat out of the pan.

13. In the same pan you cooked the meat, add the reserved marinade and make it boil. You can taste another "Côte du Rhône" during the operation to make sure it wouldn't have been better.

14. Poor the marinade on the meat. Add carrots and stuffs. Try not to pour everything on the floor. Pick it up.

15. Put a cover on the cooker. Reduce the heat. Don't reduce your drinking.

16. Watch the process and add more wine if it seems too dry. Add more wine in your mouth too, if it seems to dry of course. Wait until you can't see the kitchen clock clearly.

17. Try to get up from the floor. Add the olives and let it cook for another 3 glasses.

18. It's 7 o' clock in the morning. It's time to got to work. You are drunk as hell. But don't worry you will have a wonderful lunch.

And don't bother if you did well or not. In your state, you would eat anything.